TIME FOR SCHOOL!

     

 August is the Month that most teachers dread and every student anticipates. It is time that parents stress over new shoes, backpacks, and school supplies. For College students, it is the count down to all-nighters, intense study sessions, and parties. That is of course for the traditional students. 

I hid my pain in college

    I am not a traditional student. All of my classes are currently online.

    After my mental health took a turn for the worse and I was failing my classes I decided it was time to come home from being a traditional student and fix myself. And that took longer than I thought it would. I started out strong but then the whole world went crazy with the pandemic and I fell back into what I call the dark hole. I thought if I could bury myself in work and ride everything out I would be okay. I was very very wrong. I lived moment by moment, hoping I could have the strength to make it to the next. 

   

Work was all I could manage

 My mind was clouded, time meant nothing, and before I knew it three years had passed since I dropped out of school and talked to any of my friends. I lost so much time and touch with so many people that I will never get back. This realization started to come to mind this past January and that's when I decided to go back to school.

    This Fall will be my second semester back in school and it still fills me with dread. I do not want to go back to the shell of a person that I was the last time I was in school. But somehow someway I will obtain a degree, it just won't be in the traditional way that I had always imagined. 

Baby Steps

    In fact, nothing in my life now is how I imagined it would be, but that's okay. Dreams change as life changes people. I am not the person that I was. I am stronger, braver, and have more hope for the future. Where I used to wait for happiness to come I now go out and actively seek it in everything that I do. I take more time for myself and I try to reconnect with old friends. Some I will never get back and that's okay too. I am still an introvert so making new friends will always be a challenge for me but baby steps. 

     

   All this to say that with school around the corner, don't forget to take time for yourself. Check in with teachers, students, and parents of students that you know. Let them know that it's important to stop, and breathe. Grades are not everything. Work isn't everything. The only way for you to succeed in school and anything that you seek to do is to be mindful and aware of yourself- mentally, physically, and spiritually. If you have to take a step back so be it.  It will all work out the way it is meant to. Whether it is through prayer, fate, or whatever you believe it will all be okay. Just have hope for tomorrow. Always have hope for tomorrow. 

Look at me Now!!

(I went on vacation while taking summer classes)